Why obsession in relationships

Obsessive love makes it very difficult for a person to let go. Although breakups are usually painful and can trigger unhealthful behavior, people with feelings of obsessive love may refuse to accept that the relationship has ended.

Obsessive love sometimes involves a relationship that does not actually exist, such as with a celebrity or a stranger. There are many factors that may cause obsessive love. The sections below discuss these factors in more detail. Mental health conditions such as bipolar I disorder and schizophrenia , as well as symptoms triggered by alcohol use disorder, may cause delusions of erotomania. This is not the same thing as obsessive love, but it may be a symptom of a much more serious mental health condition.

Erotomania is a rare delusional disorder that may cause a person to believe that destiny requires a specific relationship. The person may even delude themselves into believing that a relationship that ended long ago is still loving and healthy.

Erotomania can also cause a person to believe that another person loves them. Sometimes, the object of their love may even be someone that they do not know. For example, they may believe that they have a nonexistent relationship with a celebrity. Some delusions may be so extreme that they cause the person to engage in stalking, abuse, or violent behavior.

Erotomania also involves symptoms of paranoia. One case study argues that social media can make erotomania worse. This is because it allows people with obsessive tendencies to observe others from a distance, and to feel closer to them than they might otherwise feel. Learn more about erotomania here. People with borderline personality disorder may intensely fear abandonment and have trouble managing their emotions.

For example, their emotions may appear disproportionate to the situation, and they may obsess over their relationships. They often view things in black and white terms, alternating between seeing a person as completely good or completely evil.

This can cause them to try to control others or manipulate partners into remaining in the relationship. People with this disorder may not have a consistent identity or sense of self. This can worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may struggle to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships. People whose parents or caregivers were unstable or abusive may develop abnormal patterns of attachment. This can cause them to become obsessive, controlling, or fearful in their relationships.

People with insecure or reactive attachment styles may feel preoccupied by fears of loss. D, clinical psychologist and author of Relationship Sanity tells Bustle, "Most of us start out our love relationships in a heightened state of insecurity and anxiety. Falling in love takes a lot of risk. In order to be in a truly emotionally fulfilling relationship, you need to be able to be vulnerable and allow another person in. For a lot of people, that can be pretty scary when you don't know how your partner feels.

This state of the unknown can create a feeling of anxiety that won't really go away until you know for sure that your partner reciprocates your feelings, Borg says. In a healthy relationship, both partners will be able to say how they're feeling and that anxiety should go away. But if that feeling of anxiety is still there, it can lead to obsession. So if your partner does any of these things, experts say it may not be love but obsession. When someone is obsessed and not in love, Dr.

Borg says the actions they take will most likely be driven by an anxiety that's caused by their obsession. For instance, if someone has a fear of losing you, they're going to act in ways that ensure you're not going to leave them. That may include asking for exclusivity or commitment fairly early on in the relationship. You may have heard about obsession and compulsion together, but can they exist separately and in other mental health conditions besides obsessive….

Use this brief screening measure to help you determine if you might need to see a mental health professional for diagnosis and treatment of OCD…. Boundaries aren't rules, let's start there. See what principles are healthful and needed for a rock-solid relationship. Interpersonal Psychotherapy or IPT helps you feel better while addressing interpersonal challenges.

It's recommended for depression, anxiety, bipolar…. Symptoms Causes Links with narcissism? Treatments Next steps A desire to protect and care for someone you love is natural, but what happens when your feelings become an obsession?

Symptoms of obsessive love disorder. Causes of obsessive love disorder. Obsessive love disorder and narcissism: Is there a link? Treatments for obsessive love disorder.

Next steps. Symptoms of Dependent Personality Disorder. Read this next. What Are the Signs of Codependency? This disorder is an intersection between delusional and obsessive love disorders. With erotomania , you believe that someone famous or of a higher social status is in love with you. This can lead to harassment of the other person, such as showing up at their home or workplace. According to Comprehensive Psychiatry , people with erotomania are often isolated with few friends, and they may even be unemployed.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD is a combination of obsessive thoughts and compulsive rituals. These are severe enough to interfere with your everyday life. OCD can also cause you to need constant reassurance, which can affect your relationships. Some people are said to have relationship OCD , where obsessions and compulsions are centered around the relationship. This preoccupation can lead to repetitive and compulsive behaviors in response to infidelity concerns. These behaviors resemble OCD more so than delusional jealousy.

This can cause significant distress or impair everyday functioning. OLD is diagnosed with a thorough evaluation from a psychiatrist or other mental health professional.

First, they will interview you by asking you questions about your symptoms, as well as your relationships. A medical diagnosis from your primary doctor may also be needed to rule out other causes. For unknown reasons, OLD affects more women than men.

The precise treatment plan for this disorder depends on the underlying cause. However, it often involves a combination of medication and psychotherapy. Medications can be used to adjust brain chemicals.